algae in a glass - detox time!

I mentioned that I was feeling bloated in a status update on Facebook several weeks ago. I was surprised when my whinge about rice crackers generated a huge response from different friends who have had similar issues. It's more common than I thought and there are so many different causes for bloating and other symptoms. I was convinced to go and get some proper advice in order to get to the bottom of my health issues.

So, I booked myself in to see a local Naturopath. In my initial consult, Susan asked me about everything. Every aspect of my life. Diet, work, hobbies, nearby electrical equipment. (At least she'll never be accused of not being thorough.) She then sent me off for a stack of blood tests. These tests revealed vitamin deficiencies, the main ones being protein and iron, and a couple of other unusual things. Also, my digestive system is all out of whack; "not enough of the good guys", I was told. This explains so many things!

That is how I ended up here. Deviating from my mission to organise the house and, instead, doing a 'command-delete' on my insides: detox!

Yep, I'm now one of those "weirdos" on a restricted diet. I never in a million years thought that person could be me. And my lovely husband is coming along for the ride. What a good guy.

The aim of this special diet is to remove toxin exposure, remove bad bacteria from the digestive system, renew and improve digestive function and release existing toxins. Mostly, it's avoiding gluten and dairy, as well as processed and packaged foods for three weeks. (This is called an 'express' detox). There are actually a lot of things on the "allowable foods" list, so the food has been quite good. It's just breakfast that has been the major challenge. But, more about the food another time.

We have just completed day 3 of our 21 day detox. And if it was just the change of diet that we had to deal with we would be cheering. But, and I believe this to be a fairly big BUT, we have been given some powdered supplements to "assist" with our detox. Morning and night we have to drink this stuff. The first, Thermo Phase Detox, is "vanilla flavoured" which I think is a very generous description. I guess it wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the texture. It's quite gritty and hard to swallow.

You should have seen us both. Standing over the sink, gagging, trying to get the stuff down. Urrggh.

Now, for the even bigger B-U-T: this "vanilla flavoured" powder is actually really enjoyable compared to powder number two. G-Tox Express curiously hasn't been labelled with a flavour. We soon found out why. Have you ever drunk a glass of pond water? No? Me either. But, if I ever did, I imagine this is what it would taste like. (And feel like, for that matter). Even my eldest son said "Yeah, it looks like algae. Like the algae in the Octonauts Algae Cleanup!" Awesome.

Check it out:

It's the most torturous thing I can ever remember doing to myself. And probably the thing that will make my husband hate me.

I just keep remembering that in a couple of weeks we'll be feeling awesome!

(And keep not remembering that we have 18 more days to go.)